A modest idea to combat the epidemic of loneliness | Entertainment/Life

I think a lot about the loneliness epidemic and what we can do to help people who are lonely. 

I have an idea. 

It’s not a grand solution. It’s smaller than that — and maybe that’s the point.

Hold that thought. 

An unlikely source provided my favorite bit of writing advice — it came from the freshman composition professor of my daughters’ long-ago babysitter. Even though our daughters are both twentysomethings, the babysitter is still very much part of our lives.

I messaged her to see if she could remember her professor’s name. We combined our brains and pieced together that his name was Vince Marino, editor emeritus of The Daily Advertiser in Lafayette. 

His advice: “Specific is terrific.”

What an incredibly helpful sentence it is. Nearly 25 years later, I say it to young reporters often. Through the years, I’ve shared it with every writing student I’ve ever taught.

It’s great advice for writing and so much more. In writing, I believe specificity is a mysterious means toward universality. I don’t know exactly how that works, but it does.

So, what does “specific is terrific” have to do with the epidemic of loneliness?

Perhaps one small way to push back against loneliness is to encourage people to develop highly specific, personally meaningful interests — not to master them or monetize them, but simply to tend to them.

The trick is to find something that tickles your fancy — something that just makes you happier and creates more wonder about your world. 

Over the years, I’ve noticed that the people who seem most quietly content often have one oddly specific thing they care deeply about. Sometimes they even have more than one of those things. Even if I don’t share their interest, I appreciate their enthusiasm, their willingness to share their quirk and follow their hearts.

Many of the happiest people I know aren’t especially charismatic. They’re just deeply absorbed in something — like some of the people I’ve met through metal detecting in Louisiana cane fields.

Though I don’t go as often as I’d like, having the hobby has introduced me to people and places I would have never gone otherwise. Plus, I’ve learned so much about the history of my adopted state.

The point isn’t simply the hobby itself — it’s how specific it is that takes it a step further. Even still, the pursuit doesn’t need to be a lifelong commitment. 

Some hobby ideas are quiet. Some are tactile, and some are a little strange.

Here are places to start:

Take up amateur bookbinding. Become an urban forager. Experiment with sound recording (creaking doors, footsteps, wind). 

Master paper mache. Create your own collage postcards. Do home fermentation projects (kombucha, sauerkraut, miso). Make homemade hot sauce. Plant an herbal tea garden.

Then, there are the collectors, makers and dancers.

Collect porcelain rabbits or door knockers from flea markets or estate sales. Keep bees and bottle the honey. Belly dance. Learn calligraphy. Take up archery. Make fly fishing lures. Learn to identify mushrooms. There is no shortage of options.

Here’s the thing: Hobbies aren’t about mastery or monetization — they’re about attention.

Loneliness shrinks when we pay close attention to something. Often, as we practice, we get better. We still may never become an expert watercolorist, but if we pay attention and continue to try, over time, we improve.

Along the way, we also find others who are interested and working on their craft — and we have something real to discuss.

The internet makes finding people with shared interests even easier. However, meeting in person works too. We have a built-in activity to do together. Certainly, it’s easier to get to know someone when there’s something to do beyond sitting across a table awkwardly sharing the details of our lives. 

Specific, even odd hobbies, can help give people identity, without requiring charisma. 

I’m not suggesting loneliness is solved by getting a hobby, but pursuing something specific, slightly odd, and personally meaningful can help.

Maybe part of the secret is that you don’t have to be interesting. You just have to be interested.