Gift giving in Mexico

It’s only mid-October, but my sister already has a suitcase full of birthday and Christmas presents for my daughter ready to go.

My kid was due on Christmas, but came early, right at Thanksgiving. Assuming she had any agency that day, she made the right choice in coming a month ahead of time. After all, we thought her fate was going to be getting told, “And this is for Christmas and your birthday!” her entire life.

Instead, she was born in late November. It’s early enough before Christmas that no one feels overwhelmed, and it’s around when people start getting their “aguinaldos” (Christmas bonuses). It’s a pretty sweet deal.

But compared to my Christmases growing up, hers are relatively toned down.

The culture of gift giving

For those of you who are used to U.S.-style Christmases, you might be surprised by the differences in celebrations in Mexico, especially when it comes to giving and getting presents.

When I was a kid in Texas, for example, Christmas gifts were extravagant even though we never had much money. I remember feeling like my sister and I had an endless stream of presents to open!

And basically, we did.

In Mexico, things are a bit more mellow in the gift-giving area, and extravagant in other ways. Food, parties, drinks — the presents are mostly the presence of others (pun not intended), especially for adults.

This was driven home to me the first time I went to shop for wrapping paper. At papelerías (stationery stores, where you get school supplies and paper and pencils and stuff), you can buy a single sheet of wrapping paper. To wrap one present. You can also get rolls of wrapping paper, but typically, you’ll get no more than 4 meters or so.

The only place I’ve found to get the kinds of big rolls we’re used to in the U.S. is Costco (bet you’re glad we included Costco in our Where to Live in Mexico rankings now, huh?). I bought a 3-pack several years ago and at the rate things are going, it will probably last me another 15 years.

For the kids

My kid always gets three presents at Christmas, though combined with what my sister and dad send, it can quickly balloon to over 10, which feels excessive. On Three Kings Day, which is traditionally when kids get holiday presents in Mexico, she usually gets two or three more. Then there are the presents from her dad and his family!

Most kids here maybe get some Christmas presents, but definitely receive Three Kings Day presents. You may have noticed, actually, how many stores build on a special temporary toy section during the holidays. Over the past few years, I’ve seen them packed to the brim during the holidays. Could Mexico be moving toward U.S.-style patterns of gift-giving for children? I kind of hope not.

Combined with birthday presents, kids these days have a whole lot of toys. By the way, presents are typically taken home and opened in private after the party. The giver’s name may or may not be on the bag, even! I’ve always liked this dynamic because it lets the kids know that 1) bringing a present is not a source of pride or shame, and 2) they’re not the main point of the party.

And by the way: If you have children in your life here, you’re probably used to having to “purge” their rooms every once in a while. If you’re going to donate — I always get my kid to help — be sure to make those donations before the holidays rather than after so they’ve got a chance of being new presents again!

Doing this is a little tricky because there’s not an established system of official charity gift-giving here, or a national system of donation spots like Goodwill. Just keep in mind that it might take a little digging, like asking around town and looking at community groups on Facebook. You might even know a family or families personally that would appreciate a donation!

For grown-ups

Gifts for grown-ups at Christmas and for birthdays tend to be few. Again, it’s usually more about the party, which is fine by me! Some employers give their employees “despensas,” which are basically just a box of groceries. I’ve always thought that was a little weird — why not just pay them enough so they can comfortably afford their own groceries? — but their popularity is enduring.

When small gifts are exchanged, they’re often called “detalles,” literally “details.” While they’re very nice to give and to get, it’s important to keep in mind that they’re not necessarily expected. “Detalles” are often surprises.

All that said, know your audience. Is your spouse’s love language “gift giving”? If so, get on it.

Finally, remember when shopping that your patronage is a great gift to those solo merchants out there. I’d never shame anyone for buying things on Amazon or at Walmart. But if you’re planning to browse, try to do it at an artisan market or a small boutique store.

Overall tip? Don’t stress too much about the gifts you’re going to give (or receive). Again, the present is the presence. And sometimes the food. And the booze.

Sarah DeVries is a writer and translator based in Xalapa, Veracruz. She can be reached through her website, https://sarahedevries.substack.com/.