Is there anything better than Duty Free? No, really – I mean it. For me, the entire joy of a holiday pretty much peaks once I’ve got through security, wrestled a rogue Birkenstock back from the baggage scanner and started planning what I’m going to eat, both on-board and before. (A Leon smashed avocado & halloumi muffin at Heathrow Terminal 2, since you ask; followed by a Pret chicken, avocado and basil sandwich for take-off, with a spare chocolate croissant for landing).
For then – and only then – it is time to shop ‘til I drop – or at least, until I’ve filled my cabin bag so close to bursting that the airline staff tell me I have to wear what I’ve packed to make room. Boarding really isn’t boarding unless you’re in five bikinis, three dresses and a mask and snorkel, sorry.
Still, it’s all worth it. Because while I love a week or two in the sun – Thailand, ideally, or the Saaarf of France – as much as the next rain-soaked Brit looking for a much-needed hit of Vit-D; to me the actual holiday isn’t even the holiday. The real holiday, my friends, is before you even get on the plane, in Duty Free. Even the words give me a sun-kissed shiver.
That’s right: I make sure I get to the airport in plenty of time before my flight for one reason – and one reason only. I know, I wouldn’t travel with me either.
But if you do ever have the strange fortune to be my vacation companion, be warned: we will be spending at least an hour “oohing” and “aahing” over Pat McGrath lipstick (the Bridgerton range with the to-die-for gold bows, thank you very much); and we will also be spending at least twenty minutes searching for the one that Taylor Swift wears (you know: that one. The Pat McGrath Labs LiquiLUST Legendary Wear Lipstick in Elson 4 – a red so perfect I actually dream about it; a red so divine and so eponymously legendary that it is, of course, completely sold out. And I don’t care how many holidays I have to book to find one, but I will find one.)
Oh, Duty Free: where else can you splash £100 and come away as happy as payday? Because spending money in Duty Free doesn’t count, you see – that’s the ultimate secret – it’s like Monopoly money (so I make like I’m on Mayfair and Park Lane, darling…). And you’re not allowed on holiday if you don’t buy at least one perfume in the terminal, actually – how else will you have a scent that will forever remind you of the great time you had if you don’t grab it before you go?
Here are the rules: it must be luxe and it should probably be Diptyque or Penhaligon’s or Jo Malone, because we’re not messing around, once we’re through customs, sorry: we are bougie and we are glamorous and we are hot, yes, hot – even if we are 43 and we’ve left the kids at home and we have a bunion.
And once you’ve locked down your signature scent that will literally come to define your holiday – seriously, every single time you spray it when you get back you’ll be like, “oh my goodness that trip to the Algarve was amazing and also smelled exactly like Sol de Janeiro” – you need to hit the minis. You do. Trust me on this one.
I don’t think you’re allowed to get on the plane if you don’t have at least three of those super-cute smol miniature versions of the real-life make-up you couldn’t fit in your cabin bag, because you’re wearing five bikinis and SCUBA equipment, as we established earlier (and anyway, have you tried to use a full-sized mascara wand in one of those plane toilet mirrors? Have you?).
Exactly: you *need* a tiny, weeny travel version of Benefit ‘They’re Real!’ mascara for your lashes; you need some Frizz-Ease (seriously, trust me), you also need a tub of Charlotte Tilbury’s Magic Cream to slather on to combat the dehydration of a long-haul flight and also one of those massive Toblerones with your name on (I said trust me, it’s long-haul); and probably some cognac for your dad. Rémy Martin, remember? The posh one you can save for Christmas? Not to mention a brand-new pair of Celine sunglasses, which are pricey, yes, but they look absolutely fabulous, babes. Worth it. And the money doesn’t count, we’ve talked about this! Because you’re on holiday.
There’s also something brewing that might – and you know me by now, I’m not one to exaggerate – change your actual life. Because now there’s a Reserve and Collect service at Heathrow, which means you can choose your favourite Bluetooth Wonderboom speaker or AirPods or the perfect Panama hat before you even get to the airport (swoon!). That’s right: in the taxi on the way at 4am, bleary-eyed, you can select your books and magazines and bottle of Tom Ford’s ‘Black Orchid’ and then swoosh through to pick it up like the diva that you are – and still have a spare two hours at least to browse for extras. All the more time to spend at the champagne bar, am I right?
Oh, and once you’re a glass or two down, there’s no way you’ll forget those last-minute essentials: that glow-in-the-dark neck pillow, the latest Sally Rooney and some Kendall mint cake. A word of warning, though: just be careful you don’t (ahem) miss your flight because you’re having too much fun. Take it from someone who knows. But hey, even if there’s no Disney, there’s still Duty Free…
For more information, visit boutique.heathrow.com
Source: Independent
